Saturday, February 12, 2005

Slow day at work.


Okay, some friends and I at work were talking about if we did porno movies what names would we have. A guy said he would be Dick Viscous. One of the girls said something like Tittiana Boobaliscous, and I stated mine would be Fanny Albright or Ida Slapter. Then the wizened old night auditor put in his two cents. He stated blankly that he did a couple of flix back in the late 70's and early 80's in Van Nuys, CA. "Back when they's were called nudies." He wheezed. Okay. Anyway, he said that in the Industry the way a star gets his or her porn moniker is that the first name is the name of the first pet that you owned and your last name was the street that you were raised on.
So. There.
You have it straight from the horse’s mouth. In that case, my first pet was a light brown collie named Chucky and the street that I grew up on was Brooks Road. Hence and therefore, if I ever indulged in the adult film industry, my porn name would be Chucky Brooks. Mmmm, gettin' you horny, people? That's a hot-sounding name, right? Actually, it sounds like a late talk show host from the 1960s. "It's the Chucky Brooks Variety Hour with his guest Phyllis Diller and the Ed Blank Orchestra!"
Anyway, kids...why don't you jump on the bandwagon and leave a comment of what your porn name would be. Can you smell the fun that will ensue?
I am all a-quiver with anticipation.

10 comments:

Dingle-Dangle said...

Max Wagner. Most people tend to think it's pretty good - for porn name. Or rather for a name to be used since I'm actually being paid to do what I would do when I do it.

LMB said...

That's pretty good. It sounds like the name of a Colt model. Hot.

Wayne said...

Cleo Talisman. Sounds like more of a drag name.

LMB said...

That's kinda cool, Wayn-o. Yeah, when you get into your seventies or eighties and your living in a run down mansion covered in swaying moss and faded memories on a Mississippi bayou, and you're dressed in flowing black velvets, pankake kabuki mackup, and surrounded by your teen age boy "Harem", Cleo Talisman may just work.

Brandon Gaukel said...

Slippers reece

Dingle-Dangle said...

You will now be referred to, at least by me, as Chucky Brooks.

So, what's up Chuck? It was nice to see you when you were in NYC.

LMB said...

Brando: Slippers Reese. Slippers Reese? "The Young and The Hung...starring Chucky Brooks and Slippers Reese". Wait, that sounds a little swishy...As for Slippers, let me guess? Poodle?

Lashered: Bruce Miciano a.k.a. The Tripod...though sounds a wee bit mafiaish.

Mickey Regency sounds like a porno star straight from West Hollywood and as for Tinkerbell Silverlace? You deserve an 50 men all black male gang-bang with that moniker!

katehopeeden said...

Henrietta Pussycat Lantana

lol, I couldn't remember what the name was, only that I had named the kitten after the cat on Mr' Rogers.

Doesn't quite go together :)

~Kate

monsoux said...

Lori Circumvia - no comment!

joey said...

Well I guess I would have no career based on mine... Pickles Johnson.

Unless of course there's a calling for porn comics.