Burn, baby, burn.

No one has a sense of humor these days. I try to say funny things to lift the dreary and the normals out of their daily humdrummery, but it all backfires. The citizens of Tucson just can't get my witty repartee. Three things happened today and I was shot down by all-around sour pusses! Firstly, I was visiting a friend’s house for coffee and Danishes early this morning, and, well, to put it mildly, his wife has a really fat ass, okay? I mean, there's a lotta junk in da trunk. And she wears stirrups. Blech. Well, she bent over in front of me whilst I was sitting on the couch and gave me a face full of stuff. So, I just pointed at her titanic Montana-sized buttocks and squealed, "Good God, that's no moon, that's a space station!" And began to laugh like a herniated donkey.
I was asked to leave.
So, I was on the bus (Public transportation is so underrated.) sitting in the back with the hip kids, when this tall, thin, elderly black gentleman got on board and sat down across from me. I noticed he wore a black baseball hat with a small dirty feather jutting out of the side. So, I pointed and quipped, "I get it...macaroni."
"Fuck you, honky!" He retorted.
The back passengers all laughed at me, the goofy Chinese kid with the bad bed hair, the fay Indian guy whose boobs jiggled when he laughed, the scrawny speed freak sniffing and snorting and guffawing..
Well, at least the old guy was Old School about it. Honky.
Later, I was crossing the street after purchasing a Yoo-hoo, I just love Yoo-hoos, don't you? Well, I'm crossing this street and some gimp is walking next to me, braces clicking and clacking, and comments with a smile, "It's hard to walk fast after that operation."
"Well, slow your goofy ass down," I said blankly. Thinking I was simply stating the obvious. I mean, I stride kind of fast.
"You got an attitude problem, ya fucking faggot!"
"Why do you paraplegics and cripples always hafta be so bitter?"
"I ain't no goddamn cripple!"
"And illiterate. I pity you" Taking a rather Imperious swig of my Yoo-hoo and walked away on my perfectly good legs.
I left him there, fuming.
Yeah, I'm going to Hell.