Monday, October 10, 2005

Saint Skippy.

The week in review...
Okay, Richard started acting like a real asshole. He began to deteriorate into a sniveling, self centered little punk. But, I was a guest in this house and I had to tolerate his little tantrums. Living with his family he was the typical spoiled brat. Almost every night at the dinner table, Richard and his father would have screaming matches. I would sit in silence as the mother sobbed, pleading with them to stop. Ah, yes...reminded me of my home life when I was a kid. So, to ease matters we both got a job at the Wal-Mart. Yes...Wal-Mart, the Evil Empire, itself. The White Trash Mall. My plan was to save some money and move back to Mexico. I've set my sights on Matamorros. Brownsville, its sister city is as far south and remote as I can get. I would gaze at a map, eyes shrink wrapped in tears and picture the palm trees and balmy beaches. And the best thing...nobody knows me there. I can start totally from scratch and build a good life for myself. Not that I am running from anything or anybody in particular, I just want to check out some new digs. Somewheres cheap ands gotta beach.
Anyhoo, back to this Wal-Mart shenanigan. Richard got the job as a box boy (typical, such a lazy idiot.) and I worked the check out line. The only bad thing was that it was the graveyard shift and there was hardly a soul that usually shopped in at that time. This one cool guy named Charles and I hooked up and became good friends. He's a tall and lanky goateed student with frizzy red hair that attends the State University in Oneonta. I explained to him how I got to this little town and my plans for leaving. He thought it was cool that I just get up and travel, something he said he'd never have the ball's for. I thought it was hilarious that he preferred to go by his nickname "Skippy". His friends and family called him Skippy. It was even on his nametag. Heh...Skippy.
Life at the O'Herly residence became unbearable, especially after I found out that Richard's mom and dad---are you ready for this---are brother and sister! Did my best Keanu Reaves Waoh to this one. Christ beaming at me from every angle and these fuckers are incestuous!? Jerry Springer save my soul! So I moved out and shacked up with Ralph. That in itself was a horrible experience. The trailer stank like shit and all that wrestling crap gave me the horrors. Richard was mad because I moved out and left him with his...ugh... parents. One night as I lay on the couch, Richard and Ralph was in the other room, whispering. Richard convinced that fucking moron that I was in trouble with the law and was just all around bad news. So, Ralph asked me to leave. In a fit of rage, I grabbed a broomstick and beat the living shit out of Richard. I went at him like Obi-wan to Annikin. Stomping out of the trailer, I marched over to the corner gas station and called Skippy and told him the news, he asked me to come and live with him up in Cooperstown, which was about forty five-minutes north of Oneanta. I told him the street corner I was on and awaited him and his lil' Fiat.
Skippy lives in a great big three story Victorian house not unlike the Addams families house. Creaky and old. The small city of Cooperstown is a rustic little place where the sport of baseball was born. It's just like that town out of It's a Wonderful Life; old wood houses covered in multicolored leaves of fall. Old timey street lamps. There is a city square with a white and red gazebo and a red bricked city hall with a huge bell that rang out the hour. Front yards lined with fallen leaves and kids sliding down grey hills on snowboards. Families rushing to and fro with Christmas packages piled in their arms. Wreaths hung in black windows as carols filled the air.
Now, Skippy's mother didn't mind me staying there, but she did give me a time limit of a month to save some cash and get my own place. Skippy lived with his mother and younger sister, a spoilt sulky little blond with braces and brother named Jason, a teenage blond jock who looked alot adolescent Eminem. Mother was kind of a wispy ex-hippy and very patient...a well balanced fatherless household. And they have a freakin' computer with DSL!! Apart from work Skippy and I hung around together. We'd go to the movies (Saw Corpse Bride---fabulous!) or lay around and play his Playstation.
It seems that life in this town is going to get a little more interesting now that Desolation Angel has swooped in from the void!


Austin Vane said...

Swoop into MY void, why dontcha!

Jose said...

Small towns are the creepiest ones, for all we know you're in another Stepford! Have fun!

Hermes said...

The force is strong with this one.

ML said...

Hiya Skippy skipper, I'm glad your no longer reside in that incestuous freakshow house, Too much baby, just tooo fkng much, broomstick>? getting into the merry holiday mood are we? Bang Bang I'm glad your doing fine, matamoros now? well, it IS a beach... but, its dry and crackly, makes me think of old granny wedgeskin (the one in your finger wedges) but baby u'll bring sunshine to wherever.
A porn star? someday.. maybe...
Kiss on the cheekS

rich said...

Now, are you going to corrupt this kid, Skippy, and all the big boys in town?

Vig said...

Imagining you in Nebraska as a live action character in an animated disney episode. . .is very scary.

Is there news about your mom?

All the best,