Domestic bitching...
I believe with the utmost conviction that I have fallen in ill favor with the smoke detector in my apartment. Every time - every time! - I cook some morsel the damn thing goes off. Loud piercing whine, right? So, realizing I am master of my castle I grasp a mop and start swatting at that mechanized fucker - I have to use the mop because I have high ceilings and I can't reach it - even standing on a chair. So, I'm swatting at this thing - knocking it off the mooring and it dangles there from the ceiling - it's red and yellow wires looking like gouged entrails. Ha! I thought - I won! I killed it! But, then the thing starts beeping. Nice - even after the fact that I smashed the battery out - it seems to stay alive and annoy me all night with this beeping.
So the neighbor below me - who, being Mexican stays true to her heritage and blasts her fucking music so loud that it comes up through the floorboards like the muffled moaning of a whore earning her rent. And to make matters worse - it's the same damn song - I hate you Furgi!
About bad tenants - the street I live on; all apartment buildings are infested with fags. I mean, there are a lot of homos living on my block - from doe eyed twinks to crotchety old farts. And with them come the hustlers and rent boys. Yesterday, I exit my building and sitting on the stoop is a guy with the look of a masturbating idiot. No shoes - blackened feet. Apart from not likely having a place to live - he wasn't bad looking. Anyways later that evening when I left for one of my nightly trolls - er, walks - said guy is coming out from of the building across the street. Old coot smiles, pats him on the back and hands him a wad of cash. We stop and glance at each other - he the look of disturbed paranoia and me? Well...
I held a conversation with him and the boy is nuttier than squirrel shit! After confiding that he took a 'big dump' on the corner by the palm tree - he goes into a tirade about said old man he was with and how he spent the last three hours screwing the old coot. Ew.
After that I had to go to the Tool Box and down a whisky sour - met my new friend Tony and we shot the shit as only fags can shoot. Was cruised by this handsome black guy - gave him a smoke in which he said thuggishly, "Good looking out, homie." Got his number, too.