Every weekend I go out I have the same hope. Anticipating coming across a guy who’s secretly considering the same thing and he’s eager the weekend holds what would be a miracle.
Before or when I’m out I usually down a few shots of tequila, enough to get tipsy. I make an effort to be ready for an occasion that has never happens. Most of the time I enjoy myself when I go to parties although I am always looking for a guy. My nerves are low and I browse for eye contact….I don’t know any other way to do it. I’m relatively a good conversationalist and that makes parties all the better, and I suppose it eases in accomplishing mission: find a guy. When talking to random men, I’m hoping for the smallest indicator. Throughout the party it always becomes apparent there aren’t any other gay men…or I simply didn’t discover them.
Needless to say, it’s Friday night and foolishly, my hopes are high again. I aspire nothing more than to have a successful mission.