Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bim Bam Boom.

Okay, get this, Jack – I’m coming back from a great day of shopping, understand? So, I'm standing on the corner of El Paso and Oregon -–or was it Oregon and San Antonio – I can’t recall, I just know it was hella hot – and I’m standing there, right, waiting for the light to change green – even though your average naco won’t – nope, those fuckers’ll walk right against the red, no class to them.

So, I’m waiting for the green and this fucking machismo vaquero naco come walking by and begins yapping insults at me outta the blue! I mean – what the fuck?! I have no idea who this asshole is and never laid eyes on this citizen and as he passes me he is still puking forth a string of obscenities. He says something about me wearing all black – I was decked in a black Kenneth Cole ensemble with me Wonkas – “Watta ya some sorta faggat? Queer muthafukka…” – Goofball continues to walk away – I retort – “What asshole are you to start yelling at complete strangers on the street, you worthless piece of shit!” – “Fuck you!” says he over his shoulder.

Flash bulb of anger and I am bolting down the sidewalk – he half whirls – I leap into the air and my right knee plows into his back and he is down. Rolls he then leaps back up like a jack in the box and right hook in my jaw – spry little minx – shatters my Wonka glasses – that pisses me off to no end! I grab the mother fucker by the neck – Whap! Whap! Whap! – Three belts in the face – he equally grabs me by the throat and we are rolling on concrete – choking the life out of each other – being a vicious and dirty fighter, I dig my thumb into his right eye until blood oozes out and his screams brings me joy – I let go, grabbing his prescription glasses – somehow in a fury we are on our feet – I smash his glasses under heel – he is holding his eye and I take the advantage to punch his head a few more times. There is now fear in this shit heads eyes (excuse me, eye.) – he thought I’d be the timid fairy and take his shit – but no, I’m going to take my time and have fun with this cunt.

A little old Korean bitch and offspring runs out of their store pleading, “Guys! Come on guys! Stop fighting!” I point my blood tipped finger in the face of the old gash and roar – “Get back in your fucking store and mind your goddamn business!!” – The fool taking the distraction to start wailing blows on me again – fucker! I took him by the throat and flung him to the ground – shoving his broken glasses into his bloody mouth – so hard I knocked out a tooth – canine I believe – lotta blood – lost track – the fucking fruit loop!

Welp, that’s when I heard that familiar sound of the old sirens and I had to cut – but my nemesis wouldn’t have it – “You’re not going nowheres!” he says, grabbing my pants leg– Can’t be stuck with this illiterate fuck when five-oh shows up – kicking the fucker a few more times in the ribs – Yelps as I hear one crack - I jet down an alley all the way to the border and hobble across the bridge – lucky in the fact that my black duds hide the blood like so much water spots. Got to my trap and peeled of my clothes and showered – lotsa bruises and just minor scratches – fucked up that asshole, though – he’ll think twice before causing any shit with strangers again, know what I mean. He sure didn’t expect that…

No comments: