Waiting. Waiting. Trying to fill time. Stomach still hurts. Perhaps preg. But who's the father? Just heard the Pope died. Bought a cool refrigerator magnet, one with Joan Crawford on it and it says Drama Queen. Waiting. Ugh, so slow these hours drag by.
Thumbing through one of my favorite periodicals, The Weekly World News. BIGFOOT SAVES BABY FROM FLAMING CAMPER, screams the cover story. Actual picture of Bigfoot running from said camper with tot in tow. Flaming camper. Hmmm. I'd have the picture of Mr. Foot running from enraged pedophile Drag Queen in Annie Oakley outfit without changing the headline.
Christ on a stick! I hate waiting. Spent an hour today admiring myself in the mirror. No!! No!! My stomach muscles are going away! Layered by a thin film of squishy fat! I weigh myself....a whopping 183lbs!!! I'm a grotesque hog!!
Blech.
2 comments:
Maybe Joan Crawford is your baby's father!!!!! The kid will have amazing eyebrows if she is...
Relax about the fat...I'm sure you still look pretty hot anyways!
Why are you always the flashbulb on my runway, Jose. Thanks for the kind words, as always.
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