Issued Black Winds of Hate.

I am one depressed cowboy, buckaroos.

Now understand, during this whole period in Nebraska and New York I have had to hide my homosexuality. Skippy and his family are pretty nice people, good and wholesome, a family unit that I am envious to have; but I think they’d frown on having a faggot in the house. And the random blow jobs with Jason have come to a complete halt. He acts really weird when I come into the room or try to talk to him. I have given up on the little creep. Well, with any luck I screwed him up for life. Now, every time his big brother brings some stranger home; he’ll probably cower in his room like a neurotic cat fearing that he may be violated.

Last night, the little toad supervisor at Wal-Mart fired me because I rang up and paid for a candy bar. I could understand if I stole the damn thing, but I paid for it. It was obviously against company policy to ring up your own items, a little tidbit of training they forgot to mention in orientation. I think the little shit had it out for me because he was just jealous of my good looks and positive outlook on life. Fucking worthless asshole. I was exiled from Wal-mart at three in the fucking morning and I hung out in a diner across the street gulping coffee until Skippy got off of work and we drove back to his house.

I explained the incident to Skippy’s mother, but she didn’t believe it for a second. Now I am branded a thief. It's over a week until my next paycheck and I promised to leave when I get it. Well, for a Christmas present (Her words.) this morning, she bought me my Greyhound ticket to Brownsville, Texas departing tomorrow morning. She said since I kept going on and on about how I wanted to live in Matamorros, Mexico, I should just go ahead and go. When I get to where ever I am going, I should call Wal-mart and have them forward my pay check, she suggested firmly. I'm getting the Big Goodbye.

So, this afternoon, I packed my bags and got ready for my trip. Skippy is working tonight and said he would meet us at the bus station when he got off from work the following morning. Well, good thing is, in a couple of days I shall be back in Mexico. So, I have barricaded myself in Skippy's room until tomorrow and the hostile vibrations in this old three story Victorian house are giving me the jitters. I shall snuggle here and finish reading Selby's Last Exit to Brooklyn.

Son cosas de la vida, cabrones.