"Me no like it, meester."

Oh...Hi!

Sitting here slurping my Frappacino Mocha at the local Starbuck's watching the parade of young lads followed by the old daddies glaring dark and nasty.

Yesterday evening took the city bus down to el centro - with a black fart and squeal of gears the ancient school bus deposited me amid a torrid flow of Christmas shoppers gathering their gifts from various shops all in the hopes that St. Nick will be there. Stopped at a corner stall and downed a Mexican hot dog - one of the greatest culinary delights of the world and I ain't shittin' ya. As I finished my dog and started my descent into The Plaza - my name was called and that froze me in my tracks as it always does - nothing good ever comes out of it. So, I turn around and am delighted to see an old acquaintance of mine - Hector, tall handsome and decked out in fine clothes as usual. He strode up to me arms outstretched, big smile line in pencil moustache, "Luis!! Hola!!! Que dice??!!"

I said 'howdy' he said 'hi' and then the long patter of what-happened-to-so-and-so set in. We found ourselves sitting at a table outside a small cafe and what-ever-happened-to-so-and-so really took off and flew in a kaleidoscope of directions. I have not seen Hector in a coon's age and after that delicious cup of hot chocolate he invited me to El Taurino for drinks.

The chill of dusk set in as we walked down the trash covered sidewalk into the Red Zone and up to the puke green colored building of the bar. The corner was congested with the creatures of the night, the corners spilling into the streets with taco stands steaming the smell of seared meats and spicy salsa into the sooty air. Swatting away pre-teen transvestite hookers at the door, Hector and I sat and ordered a beer each. It was sprinkled with fags and Rentboys and being the only gringo in the joint I was met with several raised eyebrows. The beers flowed and the alcohol took effect and Hector just got better looking - not that he's a bad looking character in the first place.

At the bar, I started flirting and getting into animated discussions with the boys around me - laughing and spewing routines. I felt so alive again - not once thinking of that sapping darkness that puts me in a state of antisocial funk.

I began a dialogue with some lad named Javier - a Mexican Indian with a great smile and smooth copper skin. After a few more drinks and a few more dances Javier asked if I would like to go someplace else. Hector said it was cool - he being occupied with his own victim - and I left him to his own vices, making a dinner date with him two days hence.

Javier and I wobbled down Revo and laughed and gawked at the drunken tourists and crazy Mexicans and flashing neon in the cold winter night. We ducked into El Caliente - the new casino and lost a few pesos on slots. At a bar called Exotics we met up with some of Javier's friends and danced danced danced. Bucket after bucket of booze was bought. Screaming laughter and hoots to passerby from second floor balcony - the smile and confused stare of the straight hot pedestrian. Javier and I sat on the big red velvet couch talking and entwined. We made out under the uncaring sad beat eyes of the midget waiter.

2:35am. Lights flashing past us and we strolled to the end of Revo and up a flight of stairs - down a flight of stairs - darkness over a concrete valley of houses perched on a cliff and into the small apartment of my new friend. In the distance a big dog barked and a siren wailed. He offers me a bottled water as I look around his little flat - old furniture, TV, stereo, books, paintings tacked to an avocado wall. Lived in and comfortable. It smelled good - like him.

He took my hands and glided over to the sagging bed and we lay down. Kissing, probing, licking. Clothes flung onto the dirty tiled floor and sucked each other till we both climaxed. Lay under the blanket shivering in the still night and passed a smoke - the red cherry illuminating his handsome sharp features in the darkness.

The following morning we had a light breakfast at a cafe by his house - sweet bread and coffees - shook hands and I hailed a taxi. As the cab swerved and dodged chaotic traffic on its way to La Playa - I took out the little note that Javier had scribbled down and placed in my palm as we said good bye.

Please call. Number is here 0118557963

I like you alot - please call I want to see you again.

xoxoxo javier mercado

Perhaps it is time - no, it is time - to burst out of this fortress of solitude I have built around me for no fucking reason other than my own radical paranoia. I will live - I will love - I will enjoy. And all you haters that have been recently criticizing me for it - can go fuck yourselves. I like my life and most importantly - I like me!