Well past midnight and I lay here in a cocoon of darkness. No sound but the tapping of these keys and the steady hum of the air conditioner. It doesn't work to well. As I said - I lay here in paranoid angst. I feel if my chest is going to explode - as if my very heart is going to give out. Is it too late, I wonder - too late to fix this train wreck of a life that I had created? I can not take this existence much more. A long list of failures and let downs on all fronts. My life has been a poisoned river and I think I have come to it's end. Maybe I want it to end. Really, what is left?
I am so bored of it all.