Sunday, September 11, 2011


Woke up with a start, knowing full well that something was wrong. My lower back hurt, my mouth foul and evil tasting. It didn't get any better when I got online and found out it was Friday. Not that that is bad, it's just when I went to sleep, it was Tuesday night. Did I sleep for two days? Did I have a senior moment and just loose track? Was I abducted by aliens? Hell, I was confused and scared.
I realize I am indecisive and flighty sometimes. Okay, all the time. I had a long thunk about moving to Taiwan and teaching English. Let's go over the facts: I hate kids. I'm tired of moving and starting over, again. I hate kids. The chance of my mental state kicking in and me quitting my job and stuck in a foreign land with absolutely no assistance. I hate kids.Me losing my SSDI benefits. And, had I mentioned that I can't stand being around kids? Too screechy.
So, I had refunded the class I had almost finished and decided not to go to Asia at this time. I needed a beer. I wanted to think and think hard.
There was a person whom I had met via Facebook named Miguel and I asked him if he would care to go out. He text that he was having boyfriend problems and declined. Fair enough, I hightailed it downtown for a sandwich and sat in the plaza eating it...and thinking. I was slightly depressed in the decision not to go to Asia - adventure and excitement awaits! you squeal - yeah, well fuck you. Why don't you go? I'm getting burned out o that shit.
I walked over to a bar by my house called Sonny's and sat out on the patio drinkin' and thinkin'. Sonny's bar is my favorite dive - grimy, dirty, dilapidated. For clientele usually runs the gamut of cholos, junkies, excons, hags, demented elderly. Not bad, no one fucks with me.
So, I'm sitting out back when a group of four black guys and a mole-encrusted white hag burst out. One of the black guys say jokingly, "Ain't nobody out here but that honky." They were trying to size me up, I guess.
So, I retort jokingly back, "Ha...honky? I haven't heard that word in a coon's age." They all laugh and we sit and chat over stupid shit.
My cell phone goes off and it is Miguel stating he wanted to go out anyway. Sure, why not. I met him outside my apartment - I lived just two blocks away - and we whisked over to fag central in downtown El Paso. In the patio of the bar Briar Patch, we sat drank and talked. The beer really hitting us, we decided to go bar hopping. We wobbled over to the Whatever, San Antonio Mining - where well to do fags whirled and gesticulated in squawking stances, yet what really struck me was all the sour looking, dumpy lesbians. Holy crap! They infested the joint!
Back at the Whatever bar as Miguel and I sat out in the patio, a hustler materialized out of thin air and after stealing a cup from another table, sat with us and drank our beer and smoked my cigarettes. He claimed his name was Eddie and weaved his story of woe on how he was stranded and needed a lift. He wasn't bad looking, but I wasn't in the mood and dumped him onto Miguel - in which then it became a lurid, coy game of sexual innuendo and some ravaged transvestite linked coke deal. Whatever.
Well, lust finally overcome Miguel and he rushed Eddie and I out the door, heeded my request at stopping for hamburgers, then dropped my drunken ass off before peeling out for a night of sordid debauchery.
I trudged upstairs and devoured my meal before falling into a troubled sleep...

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