Banos Roma

Felt quite drowsy after work, so I dragged myself to bed and took a snooze before I decided to go out. OUT. The word itself held notorious implications. I was in a party mood. The week was weird and I had to let off steam. I showered, had a small toke of ganja, gulped a shot of tekilla and bolted out the door.

I first hit Burrito Row to yak a bit with Beto and Andrian the two Eye Candies that work at this one shop as I munched burritos mole and smoked a Lucky Strike we chatted and chortled about cars and cocaine in which Beto swindled me outta fifty pesos to purchased said narcotic. Back room and - snort...wheee! Took off like a rocket, daddy-oh! Feelin´ it, I walked down the strip, checking out the chilongos in thier goof suits and dashed into Bar Buen Tiempo for a caguama and a chat with Ricardo and or Alfredo. However, the place was devoid of any acquaintance of mine. Three freakin´caguamas later and one mean buzz, I decided to call it quits and after talking to an inneresting character in the terlet (Insulting his virtue about cleanliness- some folks just don´t need to shake hands when your taking a piss, don´t care how hot yer cock looks, ya know?) I walked outta there and into the cobblestone maze of the Old Mercado and to this little queer bar that I remembered from the old days called Cabalitas. Let in the steel door by a grinning dyke the place was packed and after being served by a tattooed and well scared cholo named..well...Cholo, I was finally reunited with my good pal Alfredo. I was introduced to his two friends the Ignacios. Both being named Ignacio but not related.

Much gaiety and faggotry commenced and a good time was had. Hit on by some real hot hotties, but I was coming down with a flu or some kinda cold virus and I wasn´t in the mood for no homosexual hanky-panky...so I just played the hard to get role, ya dig. Never saw so many horrendous transvestites outside New Orleans before...it was a goddamn horror show! Amazonian half men in multicolored spandex that many resembled neanderthals in drag paraded around in flowers, furs, and fluff. The screeching and squawking! Ech!

Alfredo, the Ignacios, and I stumbled next door over cracked and garbage covered pavement to a shabby barnsized disco. I never got the name, but had quite a good time. The place reminded me much of Freegay. Many a gay cholo and bi curious men strolled through the dank smoke choked darkness. Mexican Ranchero music mixed with Reggeaton kept the small dancefloor packed in which Alfredo and I would frequent often. Still gotta learn that mambo!

This one skin headed shorty asked me to dance, I obliged and we boogied. Next thing I new we were tongue wrestling up against the wall and he kissed so hot, I could feel his stiff organ through his khakis. But, his friends had to go and he left with them...oh, well. Another skinny cholo with a scraggy goatee asked me to by him a beer and I said sure if you kiss me with you tongue. He mumbled something to the effect that he wasn´t queer and I said, well that´s my price and he faded into the darkness. Eventually, Alfredo and I decided to split...I felt real tired because I began to get sicker from this head cold. We said good night to the Ignacios and took off. I walked Alfredo to his bus stop. However, since we both were hungry Alfredo and I stopped to get a bite to eat at an all night chicken joint. Pollo Feliz. Alfredo invited me to go to Banos Roma with him the following day and I said sure, why not? After the late dinner, I said goodbye to ´Fredo and went home and crashed.

Waking up with a slight hangover I downed a shot of Jose and showered, dressed and clomped up to a small cafe to eat breakfast. Great juevos rancheros! At ten in the morning, I then met ´Fredo in front of the Cathedral to start our day of wicked debauchery at Banos Roma. I´ve always heard of this bath house, but have never been to it. We briskly walked the short blocks to the corners of Majia and Constitution and entered the old dilapidated building. In the lobby, an old man took our personals and placed them in a lock box. We payed him 76 pesos each and then entered the baths proper. The place was real dirty. There was black mold in the cracks of the pink and white tiles and the paint peeled off of the green walls. We found a little cubicle that was covered in obscene graffiti that had rusted hooks on the walls and a small cot. The attendant issued us each a ragged brown towel.

Alfredo and I both undressed and split up. There were several good looking men walking around naked. I felt kind of self conscious, everyone was dark brown and my skin was so pasty and white...but that was soon to become an advantage. I found the steam room. And I was quite the popular one in there. I was fucked fore and aft. Over and over and over and over...Dear Reader, I lost count. There was so much good cock...around the middle of the afternoon I told Alfredo I had to leave. I was worn out. There were hickeys all on my back, between my legs, on my ass...I had no sperm left, cock didn´t work no more...ass sore...

´Fredo and I dressed, tipped the towel guy, and left. I wobbled with my good friend to his bus stop and said my goodbyes. Returning home and to a deep sleep, I now realize I have a new place to while away my Sunday afternoons...and with any luck I can conquer this cold.