It seems that I had fallen into the arms of an unsuspected romance. Am I complaining? Not in the least. After two, self-inflicted, dry years of utter monotony and self-debasement, the uncertain step into a glob of love is a refreshing experience to say the least.
Life has become more tolerable, more livable. I do not have the urge to scream obscenities at the top of my lungs or fling myself in front of a city bus, anymore. Who knew that all misery, all paranoia, all self-hatred and self inflicted pain that life throws at you could be easily and effortlessly brushed away by the hand of a willing and caring partner.
His name is Hector Marquez. I had actually met him five years ago when I used to live in Juarez. A pure, uncut boy of the street - would run the night circuit with a pack of wild rentboys that prowled the Plaza Las Armas. He alone, with sly grin and street charm, would seek me out from the pack and attempt to woo me to my apartment or hotel and each time I would deny him and refuse his obvious advances. I did not want to be just another "john" in his scheme of things.
Jump to two years ago when we are re-acquainted one evening. He was dressed in a clean uniform and stated that he was on his way to work - an actual, real job of graveyard clerk at a convenience store called Oxxo.
Two years of lopsided courtship - mainly on his side - and I finally succumbed to his interest that he stated that always went farther than I had previously thought.
"I've always liked you. " He confided. "When I used to see you sitting in front of the cathedral in the plaza talking with your friends, you looked so handsome to me. And, the fact that you didn't see me as just another piece of meat turned me on even more. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you."
If only I wasn't blinded by my Ugly American attitude back then, because the thing was - I secretly was attracted to him. But, I made the mistake of falling for a hooker before and told myself I'd never travel down that road again.
Yet, people change. Hector has held his job for three years, now and helps support his ailing mother - a sweet and understanding person in her own right, she completely accepts her only son's sexuality and likes me, too boot!
So, there you have it. A small monument to a man who has won a cold robot's heart. I will not go all mushy and say that this relationship will last forever - nothing ever does - but, I definitely will ride this strange torpedo to the end.