Saturday, October 13, 2012

In Dreams I Walk With You.

Dreams. Dreams are the glue of life. Without them, we have no hopes, no ambitions, no reason to even get out of bed in the morning. The point is, how can we make our dreams into reality? And, I am talking about real dreams - not fantasies of high wealth, the perfect soul mate, or even world domination. Even though those three are dreams to some. Not I.
This life of mine - this life that I have lived of madness, adventure, and wondrous mystery is halfway done. I have done things in which many deem repugnant or insane or reckless. I have no regrets. Not one.
And because of my life in which I enjoyed, during the previous three years, I have been lectured and suggested and downright scolded upon that I need to "settle down", "get comfortable" and the most dreaded "be more stable". Well, Dear Reader, I've tried it and to tell you the truth, I fucking hate it. How dull. How maudlin. How outright insidious. I realize I have harped on this before. And, here it is again. Only with a difference.
Everything has a reason. There are no accidents. I was completely depressed and bewildered that I had returned to El Paso. How I loathe this town and it's small mindedness. The local "hipsters" in who I tried to connect with are a boring and self pretentious lot. Gossipy and un-inspiring. The gay ones are not even interesting and I am not speaking on a sexual level. They are simply boring. In conversation, artistically and too wrapped up in their cookie cutter lifestyle  of being accepted by their peers.
No, my time/space location is not here. Even though I had been rewarded with a means to live a sedate and comfortable existence here. That is all it is...existence. I want to live.
As I mentioned, the reason has revealed itself since I returned to this God awful hell hole. I am now saving every penny I have to relocate to my dream of living in Puerto Rico. The dream I had three years ago before I got stuck in this town. I will go. In six months. I've calculated, analyzed, and studied all options and I don't mind telling you they are all possible to attain.
I have acquired a very reasonable apartment, however, instead of filling it with awesome furnishings as I had done in the past, I have only bought a bed, television and the basic staples of comfort. To save money, I bought an xbox 360 and am addict (harrharr) to Fallout 3. A super huge game that is taking up most of my time - instead of squandering my royalties on fluff like things for said apartment, booze, and fine dining.
I had also laid off of that virtual showboat Facebook. Damn the people on there bore me to fucking tears. I'd deleted it once, but had received several emails by concerned associates on my where abouts, so I reactivated it only to be mired in the same mundane shit. Anyway, I rather have real world conversation than virtual, any day.
I will only focus on this blog from now on. And, my writing. I have been updating all the grammatical errors that I have been finding and updating prose, adding subtracting dialogue (I had previously edited them myself and recently hired a professional editor) and I am happy with the results. I just finished with Tweeker and have now began with Puta. Damned if my work will be read on the same literary level as 50 Shades of Gray!
I really am looking forward to moving to Puerto Rico - new adventures, new people, a wonderful climate and just seedy enough for my tastes. And I gather there is a huge writing colony there. (It doesn't exist in my present location)
And so, the dream and the second half of this blog continues...

No comments: