With
all that’s been happening in my sappy, uneventful yet somehow complain-able
life lately, I’ve been writing often. Frequently, I sit at my computer and let
my feelings flow from wherever I feel them to the tips of my fingers, bouncing
back and forth between cold keys…and no matter what I write and no matter how
much time and thought or effort I put into each tap on each key and every entry
as a whole, it’s wrong.
It’s all wrong. It’s frustrating. Most
writers, they go crazy. They have a masterpiece, one mind blowing novel which
does well, usually after they pass, which is a problem in and of itself, but
this masterpiece, it empties them. After people buy it and read it and engulf
themselves in the art that is this person’s past seven or eight years of
writing, the author himself is hollow. They write away all their feelings. No
matter what the story’s about, they put too much of themselves in it. They
spend every waking second in the effort to improve it and fix it and ultimately
go absolutely basket shit crazy. That is not something I desire on myself.
And yet, it is the path I have chosen. The
crazy, mad, sweaty writer glaring at his laptop screen like a psycho typing out
raw, peeled prose of filth, poverty, and degradation. Hours spent – no, days
spent - holed up in my dank room pounding out one atrocity after another. And
you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
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