There are no accidents.
I have no choice but to follow fate. All actions - either my own or ones I can not control - are pointing back east. So, who am I to fight it. I will be on that damn Greyhound bus next Friday to El Paso. I will be free. I will actually be leaving nothing behind - but faded memories. My friends - they don't give a rats ass about me. I can care less, too. I kind of look forward to the tranquility in that small town. I will face several hardships but nothing I have not encountered before. It seems I have just given up on life and will let what will happen happen.I will listen to my inner mugwump like a good agent and do what I have to.
Took in the cinema today to alleviate the mess - saw Transformers. Quite entertaining. Afterwards, strolled around Horton Plaza in San Diego and found me a new cap - one of them black emo models, quite chic, sweeties. Ate some dinner at the Dollar Chinese - actually had a big glob of fried rice and two greasy chicken breasts with a Squirt. Loathsome. The China woman that ran the joint beefed to me 'no bathroom' for me to wash my soiled fingers. Handed me two wet napkins and sent me on my way - fucking cunt. She deserved the fat black man trying to shyster her out of free chicken as I ate. Stood outside of The House of Blues on 6th and puffed a Lucky Strike (Yeah, I resorted back to the tried and true smokes.) and hopped the blue line to the border.
Man, I tell you this depression is nasty - how can one live with ones self?