Gay Cowboys

Didn't do much of anything. I worked early and was so busy today, I just walked home and relaxed. On the way home there was this guy who was very handsome; all muscles, clean cut, shaven head...he was wearing a tight white dress shirt, blue jeans, and a white cowboy hat. Nice eye candy, I thought. But that butt-poking buckaroo followed me all the way to the corner by my apartment. There is this large park adjacent to my trap, and I stopped and chatted with a couple of friends I noticed who was walking through the park. This park, you understand is very cruisey and you can easily pick up guys at any time of the day or night.
Anyhoo, Cowboy was tittering on his boot heels on the opposite corner, acting like he was lost or something. My two friends, Angel and Julio, both queers by the act of congress on their part, wanted me to go over and talk to the Cowboy. But, I was so tired from the night before and having to work so early this morning, I declined, said my goodbyes, and returned home.
In my apartment, I showered, got into my pajamas, and fixed me a steak sandwich with a glass of wine. You ever get so tired that you can't sleep? That's the way I felt. I lounged on my couch after popping Mulholland Drive into the DVD. I was so relaxed.
Halfway through the movie, there was a knock on my door and I was pleasantly surprised to see Alfredo standing there. I invited him and the first thing he did was give me a long embrace. I asked if he talked to his wife and evidently, they had another big argument. He said that she told him to get out and that she is no longer his wife and doesn’t bother seeing their son any longer. Typical bitch bullshit. How I loathe women. A human virus on this planet. God created Adam to worship and adore Him and out of the kindness of His heart He made Eve for companionship, but that hateful bitch fucked it up and women have been a hindrance ever since. (Please send your letters now.)
Alfredo and I sat there and chatted for a while paying half attention to what was playing on the television. Around 10:30 that evening, Alfredo left. He had already planned to stay at his friend Saul's place. I told him if he ever needed a place to stay, my door was always open. He is so sweet.
I went to sleep after that and had the silliest dream. I was running through a forest, terrified, because I knew something malicious was after me. It wasn't very far behind me in the darkness of the woods, I could sense it very, very near. I eventually came to a cliff overlooking a gorge. I stopped at the cliff and looked back, out of breath and scared, only to see a 450 lbs. naked fat blond woman giggling toward me at full steam. What was I to do? Jump to a certain doom or fall prey to this jiggling thunder lizard.
I jumped.
I remember screaming all the way down, but instead of hitting hard earth, I found myself bouncing safely on the stomach of a lounging obese woman like a goddamn trampoline. I woke up laughing. Fade out to mambo music...