The Rampage of Lord DeLordy!

Well, my friend Dan C. flaked out and we didn't go to Vegas. Loser! Spent the day trying to get my costume ready for Jose's Halloween party. I bought the complete uniform of Captain Kirk from the sixties television series Star Trek. Yellow Captain's shirt, tight black pants, black high-heeled go-go boots, phaser, and communicator. I looked damn good.

My friend Chad, another American who lives down here in Tijuana had asked me to dress him up. He said he wanted something outrageous. Heh...that's my forte. Now Chad is a good guy. A six-foot, four-hundred-and-fifty-pound blubbery good guy. We went to San Diego and scoured wig shops, the Hustler Store, and some costume shops. We went back to my apartment and I helped Chad get dressed. Picture if you will a cross between Dr. Frank-N-furter from Rocky Horror and Fat Bastard from Austin Powers. He sported a huge white powdered wig, white makeup with a mole, purple silk petticoat, red blouse with white lacy frills, purple panties, black fishnets, and knee-high patent leather pirate boots. He was terrifying!

Chad gazed into my full-length mirror and camped, "This is great! But I need a name!"

Out of the blue, I beamed, "I christen thee...Lord DeLordy!"

Soon after I got dressed, two more of my friends showed up. Carlos was dressed as Edward Scissorhands. Great costume. He bought leather pants and a leather shirt, strapped on a bunch of black patent leather belts, a black fright wig, and white make-up. He bought two Freddy Kruger hands and extended the blades with balsa wood and painted them silver. Saul was a Zombie Mariachi. Pretty cool. They all laughed when they saw Chad and screamed in delight at this towering monster. We all drank a couple of martinis each, Chad drank straight whiskey, we smoked a little weed, and then were off to the beach house.

Once there, Jose's house was decorated accordingly; jack-o-lantern pumpkins, dry ice, and gravestones in the yard. It was festive. The music was pumping! There were already a good number of people there. A lot of twinks walking around with angel wings. Can't fags be original? The gay sect is always bitching about individuality but all they are are clones of one another. Snobby self-absorbed clones.

Anyhoo, Jose showed us the bar and we started to drink pretty heavily. Long Island Ice Teas all night was my beverage. The guests went wild over Lord DeLordy and Chad ate it up. Lord deLordy cooed and queened and rolled his eyes at the right moment, I was happy for him. It was Chad's night to shine.

Being the blue-eyed, blond-haired pretty boy, I was being complimented all night. The opportunities that were offered! I still blush thinking of them and their blatant advances. God, I love Latino men! Daniel, this super foxy guy that I had seen around town walked up to me. He was dressed as Dracula. He said, "Hola...I like a man in uniform."

"Gracias." I grinned.

"Will you dance with me?" He smiled, extending his hand.

So as Captain Kirk danced with Dracula, other ghostly guests started to boogie down and Monster Mash on the patio deck under the full moonlight. Off to the side, I noticed Saul was already tongue wrasslin' with a tall Chicano guy dressed as a lucha libre. Carlos was chatting and laughing with some outrageously dressed transvestites.

With the help of the cool evening air and the alcohol, Daniel and I drifted into a corner and started to make out. His kisses made me so hot. I vibrated with silent insect lust. We glided hand in hand into the bathroom and there, with the most casual moves, Daniel took out my penis and gave me such a great blow job. After I came, Daniel and I stood kissing amid the pounding on the door.

As we exited the bathroom, the DJ played The Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Show and Daniel and I joined a group and did The Time Warp. Again. At that moment, a door flung open and Lord DeLordy stood there wobbling drunkenly; holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. The bottle was almost empty. His wig askew and face cherry red, he glared out of glazed eyes. He was drunk off of his ass. He threw back his massive head and let out a shrilling howl, ran across the room, and did a body slam on the food table. With a tremendous crash, the table smashed to the ground, and amid gasps and screams of the guests, Lord DeLordy rolled back and forth in guacamole, doughnuts, and smashed chips, weeping, "I'm such a bastard! Such a fuckin' bastard! I'm horrible! No one likes me!"

Ugh! I helped Jose drag this intoxicated thunder lizard to the guest room where Chad quickly passed out. The rest of the night went very well. Hand in hand with Daniel, I socialized with a lot of hot guys. The night progressed and as dawn crept over the horizon, all the guests departed. Among myself, Carlos, Daniel, and a friend of Jose's, we decided to stay and help Jose clean up. All of us sat around chatting, passing a joint.

I love Halloween.