Vampires-a-Go-Go!

Halloween is just a couple of days away. You wouldn't know that for all the Christmas crap in every department store window. Santa Claus scowling down at you from every angle as his malicious elves plot your demise. Well, I won't let that dampen my festive spirits. I love Halloween, it is my favorite holiday! I shall run amok in the streets with childlike abandon.

Last night, Carlos and Saul invited me to join them at this little get-together in an old abandoned warehouse somewhere in the low hills in Tijuana. We downed a few whiskey shots before we took a taxi to this dark and creepy part of town. The rain had subsided, so it gave everything that Hammer House of Horrors feel. The building was a delipidated ruin and was perfect.

Cars and people mingled out front as cool music throbbed from within. Inside was a pretty mixed crowd. Drinks were served by guys and girls dressed as zombies in tuxedos. Us three stood off in a corner and checked out the people floating hither and yon, chatting, laughing, and dancing. I noticed there were a lot of people dressed as vampires. One of them, dressed in a velvet red cape and sporting a massive neon blue bee hive hairdo in which we referred to as Count Fagula, stood up on this little stage and with upraised hands yelled, "BASTA!"

Everything stopped. All eyes were on him. He did some melodramatic moves with his arms and hands amid flashing lights and puffs of smoke. There were snickers and light applause from the audience. "Let the show commence!" He boomed.

A little dwarf dressed in a tuxedo and wearing a freaky white mask...the mask was quite plain, two holes for the eyes and one hole for the mouth, and was taped to his bald head...stepped out from behind these red velvet curtains, walked across the stage to this lever and pulled it. The lever made these clicking sounds. Behind him, on the freshly painted white walls were projected four short "Horror" films made by local artists. They were quite impressive. The tequila was flowing pretty heavily and my two friends and I became quite ripped.

The first short consisted of a man and his wife. The man would ignore his wife and talk all night on phone sex lines. He would literally fuck the phone with the cord wrapped around his penis. It was funny until the wife did him in with a chainsaw. That was even funnier.

The next film was about a babysitter who killed and flayed the child victims. Pretty fucking graphic! I'll never trust a grinning nanny again.

The next two I missed because I had to take a piss and there was a line at the toilet. Okay, it was a smashed-up car in the back of the warehouse that everyone was pissing on, but it made for some funny moments.

After the films, Count Fagula stood on the stage and said in his best Peter Lorre imitation, "Ladies and Gentlemen!" Fagula breathed, "I present...Vampires-a-go-go!"

This crazy seventies porno music started to play...wocka-wocka-wairn-nairn...with a spooky organ note behind it. Then, these four young girls dressed in flowing white gowns and kabuki makeup glided out of the shadows and to the twainging disco music began to commit acts of random lesbianism on each other. As they pawed and moaned, the Vampire lezbos all had blood dripping out of their mouths and long vampire fangs. We three passed a joint around with a bottle of Fundador and gazed as if in an excited state of hypnotism. The audience gasped and whistled at the scenes of sexual display that was committed on stage. Saul got a hard-on as did several other guys in the group. The crowd stood there, transfixed on this display of debauchery. It was intense!

Saul and I decided to explore the building and we found these metal stairs that led up to the roof. Following a dark hallway, we came out onto the roof and had a great view of Tijuana. There we were four stories up and with a commanding view of the twinkling lights of the city. There was a young couple that already found this place and we interrupted thier make-out session. I grabbed Saul, laughing between kisses, we started to make out in front of the young couple. They felt uncomfortable and left.

About 4:30 in the morning, Carlos, Saul, and I found a 24-hour coffee shop and talked about the night. Carlos passed the eye drops as I drunkenly gulped down my coffee. And it was then and there that I realized, I have some damn good friends. I don't care how bad you think the world is treating you, Dear Reader, life is good.

Life is real good!