Thursday, July 27, 2006


The night is dark and the stars blanket me. I look up and I see nothing. Under me - far below are the tracks - I can hear the rumbling of the approaching train - I feel nothing. The wind has picked up and the dust has caked into the sweat mixed with tears stinging my eyes. I don't even know why I am sobbing - I feel nothing. My body is frigid and my insides are cold. The sounds of the trains' klaxon is deafening as it rushes under the concrete bridge all I have to do is to take one step - one small step and all this misery - all this loneliness would end. The bridge is shaking from the force of the black iron engines as the locomotive rumbles at great speeds under my feet - black smoke swirls around me. I take a deep sigh - look up and gaze at the stars. It really is a beautiful night. What a wonderful God we have to create something so beautiful. The train passes and I turn away and walk into the black swirling dust.
What a loser - can't even kill myself.
I even failed at taking my own life.

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