Lean brown side turn - light a cigarette. The Chinese takeout festering on the hotel endtable. Half empty bottle of Fundador next to it. Cheap $15 a night joint. Had to get out of Vinnies for a day, get me a rent boy - couldn't take the badgering of those damn psychiatrists anymore. Enough to drive you mad.

We both got dressed and I walked him to the corner pulled a couple of crumpled bills outta my pocket handed it to him - we shook hands parted and I headed to a cafe for a coffee. Shot the shit with Daniel and he still was trying to convince me to relocate back to Tijuana. I don't know...just don't know. Been checking out Mexicali. Sounds real tasty. Kinda the rough edges of Juarez City but not as fucked up as Tijuana - if that makes any sense. Of course it doesn't. How the fuck, you The Reader, can possibly ever understand?

So, I light a Lucky and sip some coffee and eat a taco and yap in my atrocious Spanish as some naco puto eyes me from the plaza but I am definitely not feeling it. I have grown so cold inside. So distant from the human race I don't think I am ever coming back, you feel me? You dig what I am saying? No? Fuck you.

I spot Ivan on the corner and after a backslap and a hip handshake I cop some weed from him and we walk around the corner to his no window single room trap and smoke that shit. Now I am already dosed up on psychotropic medication - add some chronic to the mix and I am one happy cowboy - yeehaw!

We bust out onto the street and that fucking Mexican sun is big and bright under that dazzling blue sky and we trump down El Revo and cascade into El Caliente and hit the slots but don't win shit but I hit it with this hot little fucker that works there and he says he wants to meet me tonight after he gets offa work round seven but thatsa no can do cause I gotta be stateside at seven and back at the Hive for buttcheck - I mean bedcheck.

So I smile big and say adios to Ivan and that hot little fucker and make the line to the border and there is a big ass fucking line at the border with the assholes barking - "Five dollars taxi! No wait to cross!" - which is a scam, I took it once and had to wait two hours. Assholes. So, I wait in line and I cross and hop the trolley back to Vinnies and grub some dinner - puke on a plate - hob nob with some hobos, hang around the computer room and bang this shit out. Waiting for the first of the month so I can get active and do something.