Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Blue Wind.

I am suffering from a profound depression - the worst of my life. I have a complete conviction that I can't write anymore, that my talent - such as it is - has given out, and sit for hours looking at a blank page - and there is no one I can talk to. I shouldn't be hung up here in El Paso. Of course take more on account of depression - I should have went to San Diego.

Destroyed that showboat of the ego my MySpace account - God, how did I get caught up in that? Glad to be rid of it. A friend in Costa Rica pointed out the photos I posted of me - they never match, he says. I smile at the fact that I got away with it this long. That is why I enjoy talking with him - he sees. A true artist.

So, I erased the whole obnoxious niggardly thing and decided it is time to come out. I took photos of me that I actually like and scanned them into a new account. Now I just need the cajones to activate it.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but it is bad. Every idea ridiculous - like the atomic deal. And everything I write disgusts me. I really feel awful. A feeling of complete desolation.


Anonymous said...

Luisma it doesn't matter what you look like, I always tell you that you're an amazing guy, even if you're so modest that you never care to believe me.
If you don't kick this depression out I'll have to put my toe threat in action.

monsoux said...

I like what are writing. And I remember Desolation Angel. Secret is keep on writing.