Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Shey ‘ello to muh lil’ friend!

Since I am a complete moron and have no regard for responsibilities, I was forced to pawn my DVD player to buy a monthly bus pass - this act, you see creates more fodder for your judgmental ass to condemn and pass your worthless and irreverent opinion upon me. But, I digress and will continue for your amusement anyway - ruthless bitches.

So, downtown I am after doing the deed decide to do lunch at Jack in the Box - well not in it but al fresco and take my burger and cheap ass tacos to Plaza San Jacinto. Nice day with big Texas blue sky and fluffy white clouds, you dig? I sit under a shaded tree and watch the cops rumble a couple of cuties on the other side of the park. Seems said hotties where partaking in public drinking of alcohol - I gobbled my burger as one cholo grudgingly poured his beer - a Steel Reserve 211 - into a thirsty bush. Too bad, kids.

Finished my lunch and walked around the park - the two guys that the cops harassed came up to me. Damn - they looked even better close up. Problem was - they were shit faced drunk.
"Hey, man!" said the one in the blue baseball cap. "Did you call them cops on us?"

Smiling said I retorted, "Don't be stupid - and I saw they made you pour out your Steel Reserve. That's fucked! My favorite beer. Guess I hafta by you fellas new ones."

Their eyes lit up like Christmas trees and my mind was set in motion - perhaps some madcap sexual adventures will ensue... We walked over to the Circle N convenience store on Mesa Street and I purchased three tall cold ones from the daffy lezbo and with much yuk-yuks and hardy hars I found out the guys name with the blue baseball cap was Steve and his friend with the shaved head was Tony. Both fresh outta the joint this morning - for public intoxication. Life imitating art, people. Well, I was always a sucker for a handsome face and these two had the complete package - so I had nothing to lose and decided to drink with them. But where? Cops were diving and swooping around on 10 speeds like piranha.

We trumped in the afternoon heat to find a safe drinking hole - Steve took it serious. He lead us to a filthy pit behind an abandoned house - No way, buddy! Too dirty for this uppity queen - I mean really! So we stomped up to a small park and under a nice shady tree we started to drink there - until two coppers whizzed nearby on bikes. Ugh - what a bother!

Eventually we found ourselves under the overpass to the I-10 freeway and finished our beers. Discussed many a things. The topic of making jack off videos came up and Tony and Steve whole heartily agreed that much money could be made peddling their whacking vids on the Internet. And I want to state right here and now that it was in no way shape or form my instigation in this matter - okay? Steve even popped a boner - wow - impressive.

Well, we all returned to the plaza and for some reason as we sat flapping our gums in intoxicated candor some scum-bum named Harold - lanky, fuzzed out hair and no teeth - wobbled up to Steve and the two just went at it in a WW Smackdown dragged out fist fight right in the middle of the plaza. After whopping some jerk on a bike that decided to get involved and be some cowboy citizen - mind your own business, ass! The cops showed up and dragged them away.

I just said goodbye to Tony - who mumbled something about returning home and shlupped myself back to my trap. Guess I won't be seeing Steve for awhile...


Unknown said...

And you bought them beers!

LMB said...

Ungrateful bitches!!